I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
