The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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