Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My dick has a subreddit
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
