At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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