Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
