College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
