I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
