xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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