Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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