I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
