fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
