I am in a vortex of obligation.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
