Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
