i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
