So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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