I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
