i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am available for nakedness
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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