so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
