it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
this hospital has no fireball
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
