I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
