these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
