But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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