I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
