I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
