My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
