it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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