Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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