I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
