Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
