And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
