Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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