he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
