butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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