This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
