Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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