im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
