I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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