the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
