Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
