Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
