k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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