I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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