the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
