is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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