Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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