arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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