I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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