This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
