Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
