He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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