TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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