Can Purell be used as lube?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
