I cockslap morals
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
