Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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