i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
COCAINE IS GR8
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