bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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